building our home // we bought a bar

i don’t know about you, but i am still struggling to get back into the swing of things after the holidays. one thing is for certain though, the weather this weekend was simply top-notch. was able to spend time outside shoveling and, for lack of a lady like way of putting it, picking up #starksthepup droppings from amongst the yard. glamorous, i know. anyways, it was so nice to be outside, with fresh air, not crazily bundled up. it was so refreshing. sunshine and fresh air… so good for the soul. seasonal affective disorder is a real thing. the good news is that spring is getting closer and the days are getting longer.

i had grander intentions for this weekend than what actually played out; but such is life. if nothing else i was ridiculously productive this weekend. cleaning, organizing, laundry, dusting, dishes, blogging, wedding and such. if we’re being honest i was not so accomplished with the last two but i gave it a solid effort (or so). and plenty of relaxing and binge watching of crappy reality shows.

the highlight of the weekend was our newest addition to the house; a bar. we’d been eyeing this bad boy for several months now at our favorite local spot, mama’s happy… in the city. it is seriously no exaggeration when i say that either one or both of us have been there every weekend since my mom and i first discovered it back in october. we may need to cut ourselves off for a while; this being the third substantial piece of furniture we now have in our home.

it’s perfect though. and what was also perfect was being able to finally unpack several boxes of bar related items that have just been sitting in the laundry room for months. you really don’t realize how much drinking related items you have until you can completely fill a piece of furniture. what can i say, we’re pretty fancy like that.

i have to say i’m rather jazzed about what i have in mind for tomorrow’s post… stay tuned. in the meantime, cheers lovelies.

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2015 in a word // mindfulness

in one word, could you sum up your goal for 2015? what would it be? what overarching theme will you try to keep as a trending topic all year-long? i had mine even before i knew this was a thing. and by thing i mean picking a word for the year aka one little word, etc. and by thing i also mean a social media/ blog thing. it’s a thing. i first saw this on my new favorite social accounts to follow, Best Kept Self. (sidenote, these women are incredible and will both motivate, inspire and encourage you daily) each of the women of Best Kept Self tweeted their word of the year and asked followers what theirs would be. it took me no more than a second to know what mine would be. mindfulness.

mind·ful·ness // ˈmīn(d)f(ə)lnəs/ (noun)

1. the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.

2. a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

awareness, acknowledgement, acceptance… all of these things are things that i need to focus on. i’ve chatted briefly with you about my struggle with mental illness and how my anxiety and obsessive compulsive personality disorder often disrupt my day-to-day life. and the fight continues, and the journey towards overcoming it all has tons of bits and pieces to it. but, this, mindfulness. this is a key factor.

being present and living in the moment has become a difficult task for many of us with the glorious wonders of technology and so many other distractions toying for our attention. and i do mean glorious, because i have met some of the most fantastic people through blogging and social media. but there needs to be a balance. of our online and our offline. i feel so fortunate to have this incredible online world of people who i have connected with, but we must keep in touch with those who are right in front of us, and with reality.

but technology and distractions are only part of the reason why i struggle with being present. my mind is strong, very strong. and it would work to my benefit if i could harness all that strength to think about the things i would like to be focusing on. rarely am i experiencing the moment in which i am in. even in the best moments, i’m usually not all there. my mind and thoughts will wander and spin and circulate. about things that happened earlier that day, week, month or years ago. obsessing over a tiny detail that doesn’t really matter. or i’ll be trying to live in the next moment, worrying about the future, tomorrow, ten years from now, or the next hour.

a constant and perpetual state of being overwhelmed by thoughts.

the acceptance party is a slippery little sucker, too. that’s where my perfectionism rears its lovely head. things are supposed to happen the way they were supposed to happen. from our plans for the evening to plans for the wedding and everything in between. my rigidness to the way it was “supposed to” happen becomes paralyzing. to be able to accept myself, my feelings, my thoughts AND (here’s the kicker) move forward… that, that is the goal.

2015 has a lot of fancy things in store for me already. i’m lined up to present on ‘unleashing the power of social media’ twice (once in las vegas and once in san diego), we’re working on renovations to our home, making some major overhauls with my blog and personal brand, numerous trips for both work and fun, oh and you know just getting MARRIED. and i don’t want to miss a moment of any of it. i’ve already robbed myself of so many moments, enough is enough. on our wedding day i don’t want to be worried about a million little things that have nothing to do with the fact that i will be surrounded by my family and friends and starting my life with my best friend. it’s going to be the best day ever, and i want to be there. for every tear of happiness, every laugh, every sassy comment, every kiss and every dance move. i will be mindful and i will be present.

it’s certainly not going to be easy, but if what easy – well i guess then i would probably have done it already. but i am going to try. 2015, i got you.

how would you theme your 2015 in a word? share with me and let’s keep each other motivated! 2015 is our year. xo

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namasté

the story of our wedding // selecting a wedding date

you know what day it is…wedding wednesday. full disclosure: this is not the post i had intended for today. i had planned to share my tips on things to consider when booking your venue (next week!) but while i was making my list i realized i had forgotten one very important piece of the planning process… the date! now, that brings up the age-old question… which came first, the wedding date or the wedding plans? have i kicked your interest? perfection. let’s continue.

you need a wedding date to make any of your wedding plans, but you also need to know if your wedding plans will match up to your date. it’s a slippery slope to know exactly where to begin. and so, we’ll start at the very beginning. because the sound of music says that is a very good place to start. since i’m all about full disclosure today, i’ll add another tidbit about [b] and my wedding… we had a date picked months before we got engaged. it was our one year anniversary and we went to dinner at spill the wine (you can read all about our one year anniversary here). we were discussing future anniversaries, more specifically, those that may once again fall on the first day of football season like it did that year and agreed that we could (as we were doing that year) celebrate on saturday after labor day which would be more in line with the day we met not the actual date. (i know what you’re thinking – girlfriend of the year right there) then [b] noted that eventually we would have a different anniversary date so it might not matter. wonder what day that falls on in the next few years? in 2015 the saturday after labor day will be september 12. [b]’s birthday is march 12. my birthday is may 12. and it will “technically” be our 3 year anniversary. well that sounds like a mighty fine day to get married.  i don’t remember if we talked much more about it after that; i’m sure i brought it up every now and again. and i am literally just remembering right now that i text my mom that night and said, “no we’re not engaged, but we may or may not have set a wedding date.” i’m sure you can all imagine how irritated she was that i didn’t call her with more details until much later the next day.

and so, [b] and i will tie the knot and i will become a bica on september 12, 2015. we weren’t certain we were going to end up with that date early in the planning process, however. and that’s what brings me to the real reason you’re reading this. here are some nuggets of knowledge to consider when selecting your wedding date.

• what time of year you want to get married: i used to think i would absolutely get married in june. because, that’s when people get married! [b] added that june in minnesota (which yes, people it gets HOT in the summer) in a tux with pictures outside are not pleasant for the men-folk. i considered that there is a stronger chance of rain in june. and that my busiest time of year at work is july/august and did i really want to come back from a honeymoon to that? (no, i’ll just be planning a conference for 1000 people that i’ll get back from 2 weeks before the wedding. ain’t no thang.) think about what colors you may want; if you will want to have any of it outside, what a busy time of year is for you and your family, etc.

• is it near a major holiday: while it might sound fun and festive to spend the holiday weekend celebrating your wedding there are a couple of things to keep in mind… the cost of things could increase for certain items (roses around Valentines Day) and your guests. yes, this big day is about you and your future spouse, however if you want a lot of people to be there i would just think twice – not that everyone doesn’t love you but they might not want to give up their holiday weekend. additionally, the cost of hotels, flights and other things increase during this time as well.

• do you have enough time to plan: i know it is possible to plan a wedding in a few months (it worked for my parents – albeit that was 30 years ago). however, please remember that there can be significant added cost to being in a time crunch and there may be things you have to sacrifice. such as a dress that won’t take as long to order; custom invitations/centerpieces/etc.; and availability of vendors.

• now pick 2 alternatives: so you think you’ve got your date? great! now pick 2 alternatives. just kidding, but completely serious. even in the twin cities with HUNDREDS of options for every aspect of the wedding; there were plenty of places that were already booked 18 months in advance. the same goes for photographers, videographers, florist, etc. you need to pick a sticking point. if there is a venue or photographer you really want, you might have to be flexible with the date. but if the date means more to you than the details, then be sure you are comfortable that you might have to be ok with not getting exactly what you want from your vendors. either way, choose what will make you two the most happy.

i hope these tidbits of advice will help you as you pick your perfect day. until next time, wedding lovelies!

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