the story behind my blogging hiatus

the story of my recent life | what's best for me

hi. well, let’s cut to the chase… i’ve been on an unintended but contemplated yet unplanned blogging hiatus. my last solid post was just about 2.5 months ago. that certainly escalated quickly. i’ve been a blogger in some shape or form for just over 5 years. (that makes me somewhat of a golden girl in blog years) i started it with no goal in mind, it was my outlet, my story, my little corner of the internet. it was fun and it was my happy place. i didn’t care about how many readers i had, how many views i got, how fancy my pictures were or how often i posted.

in the past year or so i began to have my eyes opened to another side of blogging – the more serious, businessy yet unconventional at times, entrepreneurial and sometimes junior high school-esk sort of blogging. i became aware of how much work people put into their blogs, how many views they get, the brands they get to work with, the fancy layouts and the great collaborations, and all the likes. it was great (for a bit) because it motivated me to work towards moving forward with full force on my blog and tidy up my little corner in the internet. but then i started to play the comparison game. and feeling bad about myself when i didn’t post enough, when i didn’t get a lot of views or comments, when my pictures didn’t look as good as someone else’s, when i wasn’t as witty or clever or as good at wordsmithing as they were. and that mindset gives you a pass to skip right ahead into the dark place. it’s easy to say, “don’t compare yourself to others” and other similar sayings – hell, i’m quite certain i’ve posted things like that before. probably trying to convince myself. but it is hard. comparison isn’t terrible if you can keep yourself in check and use it as a motivator, but the second it becomes paralyzing it’s useless. part of it comes with my personality, my obsessive compulsive personality disorder and need for “perfection” didn’t help my comparison game. i started to question my purpose of blogging, wonder if i was good at it at all, seek to find my voice, feel that i couldn’t do anything until i got head shots and a logo and a fancy newly designed site. (aka excuses)

the story of my recent life | be where you are

i had gotten on a bit of a roll of posting. i’d found my groove, if you will. at the beginning of the year i’d tossed around the idea of taking a break during the month of february. give myself a planned break to focus on life. i have a lot on my plate this year, not the least of which is planning a wedding, 3 confirmed speaking engagements, planning a conference for 1000, training for a half marathon, renovating and decorating our house, oodles of traveling. you know, that sort of thing. my anxiety started to get out of control. the sense of perpetual overwhelm never seemed to escape me. panic attacks occurred more frequently. my self-esteem stooped down to a level that i hadn’t been in since high school. and suddenly one week, two weeks, 2 months, 2.5 months passed and my blog remained untouched and started to gather some cobwebs.

i’m ok that i had to take a break. i needed it. and still need it, i think. i need to take care of myself. i need to find a way to deal this anxiety in a healthy way, stop being a bully to myself, and somehow some way i’m determined to find my secret sauce that will allow me to relax. and so, i’m not sure how much more of a break i will take before i get back into the swing of things. my schedule and stressors certainly aren’t going to get any less for the next 5 or so months. but i miss blogging. i miss the community that i’ve begun to foster through blogging, twitter chats, etc. part of my reason for blogging is that i believe we all have a story worth telling and i’ve missed sharing mine. which is truthfully fantastic news, because it reaffirms that i blog because i enjoy it. and that’s a perfect reason to do it.

i will be back, the blogging world needs this sassy, classy and a little smart assy lady in it. thank you for being there when i’m ready.

xoxo

emma

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christmas came early // and other fancy things

christmas came early // and other fancy things

well, the good news is that we may actually get a white christmas as the snow and cold have found its way back to MN. the less good news is that it’s cold. but, i really didn’t want a brown christmas, so i’m rooting for you Minnesota and mother nature. also, did you know that there are only 9 sleeps until christmas? if you thought to yourself… aw snaps i need to get my life together, then we’re speaking the same language. it’s not that i’ve been bad at christmas shopping; it’s been that i’ve been bad at christmas shopping… for not me. i blame all the fabulous sales. i’ve had a case of the ‘i want, i need, i buy’ syndrome as of late. oopsies.

i’m overly obsessed with my top 3 recent purchases though. they are practical, fancy and of course, sassy. i recently upgraded from my iPhone 5 to iPhone 6. and yes, i do love it. i sadly had to say goodbye to my beloved case from the everygirl (dear everygirl; please make your cases for 6’s soon, pretty please xo) and so the search began for a new case. i have recently found a lovely site called ban.do and saw a pretty mint colored sassy gem of a case that i couldn’t say no to. i think we make a great pair. christmas came early // and other fancy things

next came my sudden desire for a paper planner. i used to be a die hard franklin covey customer. i wrote everything and i mean everything down. but the times, they were a changing… so i become digital obsessed. i’m all about the google calendars, the wunderlists, the evernotes, etc. but with our wedding coming up in 270 days; i have had a certain urge for a paper planner to write things down. literally. there is something to be said about the written word. unfortunately i drug my feet for too long on katespade.com and missed out on the one i wanted; however – thanks to some google magic i found a lovely place called lulu & georgia and alas, my new 2015 planner. it is lovely and beautiful and if you look carefully, it says emma on the cover.christmas came early // and other fancy thingschristmas came early // and other fancy things

last on my list, but not at all least is my travel coffee mug also from ban.do. l-o-v-e love it. love everything. i mean, the mug says it all. i can’t say anything more.christmas came early // and other fancy things

yesterday i got an early christmas present for me that wasn’t from me! [b] got me this adorably perfect vanity from my new favorite local shop, mama’s happy… in the city. we got our entry buffet table there a month or so ago and i’m quite certain that we visit the shop every weekend. i’ve had my eyes on this beauty for a while now and thanks to my wonderful fiance she now will live in our home. #starksthepup was quite excited as well because he likes to hide under things like a fort. so it’s really a present for the both of us. (please disregard the horrendous knotty pine walls of our bedroom. renovation coming q1 2015).christmas came early // and other fancy thingschristmas came early // and other fancy thingschristmas came early // and other fancy thingschristmas came early // and other fancy thingschristmas came early // and other fancy thingschristmas came early // and other fancy things

to buy:

‘i am very busy’ iPhone 6 phone case (ban.do)

‘bookshelf’ 2015 planner (kate spade via lulu and georgia)

‘but first, coffee’ mug (ban.do)

vintage restored vanity (mama’s happy in the city)


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this morning, with him, having coffee

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love and coffee

love and coffee

[b] and i share a love for coffee. weekend mornings we can most likely be found at a caribou sipping on the seasonal favorite and taking #bouface selfies. there’s something about a coffee shop that’s just cozy. even if we’re both on our laptops or phones crushing candies while we’re there hanging out it’s some of my favorite times. something we like to do together.

at the old house this enjoyable activity was limited to weekends only. [b] or i would sometimes make coffee durning the week but we had to the leave house so early because of crappy commutes that it was almost always taken to-go. one of the many things i love about our new house is that we both have a short commute. there are oodles of good things that come from this; we’re not as rushed in the morning to try and “beat” traffic (which never worked – 494 is the worst), we’re not stuck in hours of traffic on the way home which just makes you uber cranky by the time you get home. it’s glorious and makes you realize how much a shitty commute can really affect your attitude.

but [probably] my most favorite thing that has come from this is that we get to spend time together in the morning. we’ve eaten breakfast together more in the past 2 months than we ever did in a year and a half at the old house. and almost every morning we have coffee. [b] gets up with the chickens at unforsaken times like 4 in the morning so he’s usually/always the one to make the coffee. sometimes we enjoy our coffee seperately while we’re getting ready. but some days, like this morning, we get to sit together [with #starksthepup] and watch tv and look at save the dates on pinterest and enjoy our coffee together before we started our day. nothing else mattered, no anxiety, no worry, no stress, just us. and those moments, with him, having coffee that make me feel so blessed to get to do life with that guy.