the story behind my blogging hiatus

the story of my recent life | what's best for me

hi. well, let’s cut to the chase… i’ve been on an unintended but contemplated yet unplanned blogging hiatus. my last solid post was just about 2.5 months ago. that certainly escalated quickly. i’ve been a blogger in some shape or form for just over 5 years. (that makes me somewhat of a golden girl in blog years) i started it with no goal in mind, it was my outlet, my story, my little corner of the internet. it was fun and it was my happy place. i didn’t care about how many readers i had, how many views i got, how fancy my pictures were or how often i posted.

in the past year or so i began to have my eyes opened to another side of blogging – the more serious, businessy yet unconventional at times, entrepreneurial and sometimes junior high school-esk sort of blogging. i became aware of how much work people put into their blogs, how many views they get, the brands they get to work with, the fancy layouts and the great collaborations, and all the likes. it was great (for a bit) because it motivated me to work towards moving forward with full force on my blog and tidy up my little corner in the internet. but then i started to play the comparison game. and feeling bad about myself when i didn’t post enough, when i didn’t get a lot of views or comments, when my pictures didn’t look as good as someone else’s, when i wasn’t as witty or clever or as good at wordsmithing as they were. and that mindset gives you a pass to skip right ahead into the dark place. it’s easy to say, “don’t compare yourself to others” and other similar sayings – hell, i’m quite certain i’ve posted things like that before. probably trying to convince myself. but it is hard. comparison isn’t terrible if you can keep yourself in check and use it as a motivator, but the second it becomes paralyzing it’s useless. part of it comes with my personality, my obsessive compulsive personality disorder and need for “perfection” didn’t help my comparison game. i started to question my purpose of blogging, wonder if i was good at it at all, seek to find my voice, feel that i couldn’t do anything until i got head shots and a logo and a fancy newly designed site. (aka excuses)

the story of my recent life | be where you are

i had gotten on a bit of a roll of posting. i’d found my groove, if you will. at the beginning of the year i’d tossed around the idea of taking a break during the month of february. give myself a planned break to focus on life. i have a lot on my plate this year, not the least of which is planning a wedding, 3 confirmed speaking engagements, planning a conference for 1000, training for a half marathon, renovating and decorating our house, oodles of traveling. you know, that sort of thing. my anxiety started to get out of control. the sense of perpetual overwhelm never seemed to escape me. panic attacks occurred more frequently. my self-esteem stooped down to a level that i hadn’t been in since high school. and suddenly one week, two weeks, 2 months, 2.5 months passed and my blog remained untouched and started to gather some cobwebs.

i’m ok that i had to take a break. i needed it. and still need it, i think. i need to take care of myself. i need to find a way to deal this anxiety in a healthy way, stop being a bully to myself, and somehow some way i’m determined to find my secret sauce that will allow me to relax. and so, i’m not sure how much more of a break i will take before i get back into the swing of things. my schedule and stressors certainly aren’t going to get any less for the next 5 or so months. but i miss blogging. i miss the community that i’ve begun to foster through blogging, twitter chats, etc. part of my reason for blogging is that i believe we all have a story worth telling and i’ve missed sharing mine. which is truthfully fantastic news, because it reaffirms that i blog because i enjoy it. and that’s a perfect reason to do it.

i will be back, the blogging world needs this sassy, classy and a little smart assy lady in it. thank you for being there when i’m ready.

xoxo

emma

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2015 in a word // mindfulness

2015 in a word mindfulness

in one word, could you sum up your goal for 2015? what would it be? what overarching theme will you try to keep as a trending topic all year-long? i had mine even before i knew this was a thing. and by thing i mean picking a word for the year aka one little word, etc. and by thing i also mean a social media/ blog thing. it’s a thing. i first saw this on my new favorite social accounts to follow, Best Kept Self. (sidenote, these women are incredible and will both motivate, inspire and encourage you daily) each of the women of Best Kept Self tweeted their word of the year and asked followers what theirs would be. it took me no more than a second to know what mine would be. mindfulness.

mind·ful·ness // ˈmīn(d)f(ə)lnəs/ (noun)
1. the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.
2. a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

awareness, acknowledgement, acceptance… all of these things are things that i need to focus on. i’ve chatted briefly with you about my struggle with mental illness and how my anxiety and obsessive compulsive personality disorder often disrupt my day-to-day life. and the fight continues, and the journey towards overcoming it all has tons of bits and pieces to it. but, this, mindfulness. this is a key factor.

being present and living in the moment has become a difficult task for many of us with the glorious wonders of technology and so many other distractions toying for our attention. and i do mean glorious, because i have met some of the most fantastic people through blogging and social media. but there needs to be a balance. of our online and our offline. i feel so fortunate to have this incredible online world of people who i have connected with, but we must keep in touch with those who are right in front of us, and with reality.

2015 in a word mindfulness

but technology and distractions are only part of the reason why i struggle with being present. my mind is strong, very strong. and it would work to my benefit if i could harness all that strength to think about the things i would like to be focusing on. rarely am i experiencing the moment in which i am in. even in the best moments, i’m usually not all there. my mind and thoughts will wander and spin and circulate. about things that happened earlier that day, week, month or years ago. obsessing over a tiny detail that doesn’t really matter. or i’ll be trying to live in the next moment, worrying about the future, tomorrow, ten years from now, or the next hour.

a constant and perpetual state of being overwhelmed by thoughts.

the acceptance party is a slippery little sucker, too. that’s where my perfectionism rears its lovely head. things are supposed to happen the way they were supposed to happen. from our plans for the evening to plans for the wedding and everything in between. my rigidness to the way it was “supposed to” happen becomes paralyzing. to be able to accept myself, my feelings, my thoughts AND (here’s the kicker) move forward… that, that is the goal.

2015 in a word mindfulness

2015 has a lot of fancy things in store for me already. i’m lined up to present on ‘unleashing the power of social media’ twice (once in las vegas and once in san diego), we’re working on renovations to our home, making some major overhauls with my blog and personal brand, numerous trips for both work and fun, oh and you know just getting MARRIED. and i don’t want to miss a moment of any of it. i’ve already robbed myself of so many moments, enough is enough. on our wedding day i don’t want to be worried about a million little things that have nothing to do with the fact that i will be surrounded by my family and friends and starting my life with my best friend. it’s going to be the best day ever, and i want to be there. for every tear of happiness, every laugh, every sassy comment, every kiss and every dance move. i will be mindful and i will be present.

it’s certainly not going to be easy, but if what easy – well i guess then i would probably have done it already. but i am going to try. 2015, i got you.

how would you theme your 2015 in a word? share with me and let’s keep each other motivated! 2015 is our year. xo

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2014 // year in review

2014 // year in review

the end of the year is all about making lists, which is something i can totally get on board with. this past year was definitely a game changing year. so many incredible things happened. here are my “tops” of 2014. cannot wait to see what 2015 has in store…

top four in 2014

worth mentioning

2014 // year in reviewblog milestones

  • over 8,000 views in 2014
  • over 1,000 views in one day
  • 100 blog followers
  • attending Go Blog Social in april [game changer for my blog]

2014 // year in review

social media diva highlights

  • presented my half day workshop on social media for the 2nd time at EXHIBITOR2014 in Las Vegas, NV
  • and again at EXHIBITOR FastTrak in Boston, MA
  • spoke on a panel on event planner at the 2014 Cvent Corportate Meeting Summit
  • was featured in an article on mashable (!!!) on top stressful jobs
  • had my first [paid] speaking gig on social media for the Upper Midwest EDPA
  • spoke on a Power of Live webinar on Amplifying the Social Experience at Every Touchpoint hosted by Cvent and BrandRepublic

2014 // year in review

life + family + travels

  • got ENGAGED to my best friend and love of my life [b] on the beaches of st. eustatius in march
  • traveled to: florida (x5), the carribean, las vegas (x2), texas, kansas city, cincinnati, niagara-on-the-lake, on (canada), nashville, phoenix, san diego
  • celebrated 2 years with [b]
  • met my social media soulmate, dick vitale. and he said i was Awesome with a capital A
  • went to my first, second and third concerts of my life. (imagine dragons, iggy azelea, garth brooks)
  • sold the townhome & bought a first home together in st. louis park (sidenote: moving is the absolute worst)
  • my big brother bought a house + got a job! my baby brother graduated from high school + started college! my momma & daddy celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary!

2014 // year in review


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2013 in review | a year of changes and blessings galore

2012 roundup ((WOW… that was a busy year))

[2011 roundup] a year of changes and growth