the story behind my blogging hiatus

the story of my recent life | what's best for me

hi. well, let’s cut to the chase… i’ve been on an unintended but contemplated yet unplanned blogging hiatus. my last solid post was just about 2.5 months ago. that certainly escalated quickly. i’ve been a blogger in some shape or form for just over 5 years. (that makes me somewhat of a golden girl in blog years) i started it with no goal in mind, it was my outlet, my story, my little corner of the internet. it was fun and it was my happy place. i didn’t care about how many readers i had, how many views i got, how fancy my pictures were or how often i posted.

in the past year or so i began to have my eyes opened to another side of blogging – the more serious, businessy yet unconventional at times, entrepreneurial and sometimes junior high school-esk sort of blogging. i became aware of how much work people put into their blogs, how many views they get, the brands they get to work with, the fancy layouts and the great collaborations, and all the likes. it was great (for a bit) because it motivated me to work towards moving forward with full force on my blog and tidy up my little corner in the internet. but then i started to play the comparison game. and feeling bad about myself when i didn’t post enough, when i didn’t get a lot of views or comments, when my pictures didn’t look as good as someone else’s, when i wasn’t as witty or clever or as good at wordsmithing as they were. and that mindset gives you a pass to skip right ahead into the dark place. it’s easy to say, “don’t compare yourself to others” and other similar sayings – hell, i’m quite certain i’ve posted things like that before. probably trying to convince myself. but it is hard. comparison isn’t terrible if you can keep yourself in check and use it as a motivator, but the second it becomes paralyzing it’s useless. part of it comes with my personality, my obsessive compulsive personality disorder and need for “perfection” didn’t help my comparison game. i started to question my purpose of blogging, wonder if i was good at it at all, seek to find my voice, feel that i couldn’t do anything until i got head shots and a logo and a fancy newly designed site. (aka excuses)

the story of my recent life | be where you are

i had gotten on a bit of a roll of posting. i’d found my groove, if you will. at the beginning of the year i’d tossed around the idea of taking a break during the month of february. give myself a planned break to focus on life. i have a lot on my plate this year, not the least of which is planning a wedding, 3 confirmed speaking engagements, planning a conference for 1000, training for a half marathon, renovating and decorating our house, oodles of traveling. you know, that sort of thing. my anxiety started to get out of control. the sense of perpetual overwhelm never seemed to escape me. panic attacks occurred more frequently. my self-esteem stooped down to a level that i hadn’t been in since high school. and suddenly one week, two weeks, 2 months, 2.5 months passed and my blog remained untouched and started to gather some cobwebs.

i’m ok that i had to take a break. i needed it. and still need it, i think. i need to take care of myself. i need to find a way to deal this anxiety in a healthy way, stop being a bully to myself, and somehow some way i’m determined to find my secret sauce that will allow me to relax. and so, i’m not sure how much more of a break i will take before i get back into the swing of things. my schedule and stressors certainly aren’t going to get any less for the next 5 or so months. but i miss blogging. i miss the community that i’ve begun to foster through blogging, twitter chats, etc. part of my reason for blogging is that i believe we all have a story worth telling and i’ve missed sharing mine. which is truthfully fantastic news, because it reaffirms that i blog because i enjoy it. and that’s a perfect reason to do it.

i will be back, the blogging world needs this sassy, classy and a little smart assy lady in it. thank you for being there when i’m ready.

xoxo

emma

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building our home // we bought a bar

building our home we bought a barbuilding our home we bought a barbuilding our home we bought a barbuilding our home we bought a barbuilding our home we bought a bar

i don’t know about you, but i am still struggling to get back into the swing of things after the holidays. one thing is for certain though, the weather this weekend was simply top-notch. was able to spend time outside shoveling and, for lack of a lady like way of putting it, picking up #starksthepup droppings from amongst the yard. glamorous, i know. anyways, it was so nice to be outside, with fresh air, not crazily bundled up. it was so refreshing. sunshine and fresh air… so good for the soul. seasonal affective disorder is a real thing. the good news is that spring is getting closer and the days are getting longer.

i had grander intentions for this weekend than what actually played out; but such is life. if nothing else i was ridiculously productive this weekend. cleaning, organizing, laundry, dusting, dishes, blogging, wedding and such. if we’re being honest i was not so accomplished with the last two but i gave it a solid effort (or so). and plenty of relaxing and binge watching of crappy reality shows.

the highlight of the weekend was our newest addition to the house; a bar. we’d been eyeing this bad boy for several months now at our favorite local spot, mama’s happy… in the city. it is seriously no exaggeration when i say that either one or both of us have been there every weekend since my mom and i first discovered it back in october. we may need to cut ourselves off for a while; this being the third substantial piece of furniture we now have in our home.

it’s perfect though. and what was also perfect was being able to finally unpack several boxes of bar related items that have just been sitting in the laundry room for months. you really don’t realize how much drinking related items you have until you can completely fill a piece of furniture. what can i say, we’re pretty fancy like that.

i have to say i’m rather jazzed about what i have in mind for tomorrow’s post… stay tuned. in the meantime, cheers lovelies.


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the story of our wedding // selecting a wedding date

the story of our wedding

you know what day it is…wedding wednesday. full disclosure: this is not the post i had intended for today. i had planned to share my tips on things to consider when booking your venue (next week!) but while i was making my list i realized i had forgotten one very important piece of the planning process… the date! now, that brings up the age-old question… which came first, the wedding date or the wedding plans? have i kicked your interest? perfection. let’s continue.

the story of our wedding // selecting a wedding date

you need a wedding date to make any of your wedding plans, but you also need to know if your wedding plans will match up to your date. it’s a slippery slope to know exactly where to begin. and so, we’ll start at the very beginning. because the sound of music says that is a very good place to start. since i’m all about full disclosure today, i’ll add another tidbit about [b] and my wedding… we had a date picked months before we got engaged. it was our one year anniversary and we went to dinner at spill the wine (you can read all about our one year anniversary here). we were discussing future anniversaries, more specifically, those that may once again fall on the first day of football season like it did that year and agreed that we could (as we were doing that year) celebrate on saturday after labor day which would be more in line with the day we met not the actual date. (i know what you’re thinking – girlfriend of the year right there) then [b] noted that eventually we would have a different anniversary date so it might not matter. wonder what day that falls on in the next few years? in 2015 the saturday after labor day will be september 12. [b]’s birthday is march 12. my birthday is may 12. and it will “technically” be our 3 year anniversary. well that sounds like a mighty fine day to get married.  i don’t remember if we talked much more about it after that; i’m sure i brought it up every now and again. and i am literally just remembering right now that i text my mom that night and said, “no we’re not engaged, but we may or may not have set a wedding date.” i’m sure you can all imagine how irritated she was that i didn’t call her with more details until much later the next day.

the story of our wedding

and so, [b] and i will tie the knot and i will become a bica on september 12, 2015. we weren’t certain we were going to end up with that date early in the planning process, however. and that’s what brings me to the real reason you’re reading this. here are some nuggets of knowledge to consider when selecting your wedding date.

  • what time of year you want to get married: i used to think i would absolutely get married in june. because, that’s when people get married! [b] added that june in minnesota (which yes, people it gets HOT in the summer) in a tux with pictures outside are not pleasant for the men-folk. i considered that there is a stronger chance of rain in june. and that my busiest time of year at work is july/august and did i really want to come back from a honeymoon to that? (no, i’ll just be planning a conference for 1000 people that i’ll get back from 2 weeks before the wedding. ain’t no thang.) think about what colors you may want; if you will want to have any of it outside, what a busy time of year is for you and your family, etc.
  • is it near a major holiday: while it might sound fun and festive to spend the holiday weekend celebrating your wedding there are a couple of things to keep in mind… the cost of things could increase for certain items (roses around Valentines Day) and your guests. yes, this big day is about you and your future spouse, however if you want a lot of people to be there i would just think twice – not that everyone doesn’t love you but they might not want to give up their holiday weekend. additionally, the cost of hotels, flights and other things increase during this time as well.
  • do you have enough time to plan: i know it is possible to plan a wedding in a few months (it worked for my parents – albeit that was 30 years ago). however, please remember that there can be significant added cost to being in a time crunch and there may be things you have to sacrifice. such as a dress that won’t take as long to order; custom invitations/centerpieces/etc.; and availability of vendors.
  • now pick 2 alternatives: so you think you’ve got your date? great! now pick 2 alternatives. just kidding, but completely serious. even in the twin cities with HUNDREDS of options for every aspect of the wedding; there were plenty of places that were already booked 18 months in advance. the same goes for photographers, videographers, florist, etc. you need to pick a sticking point. if there is a venue or photographer you really want, you might have to be flexible with the date. but if the date means more to you than the details, then be sure you are comfortable that you might have to be ok with not getting exactly what you want from your vendors. either way, choose what will make you two the most happy.

i hope these tidbits of advice will help you as you pick your perfect day. until next time, wedding lovelies!


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