happy birthday to our angel in heaven [haley ellen turns 21]

“death comes unexpectedly.”

today we celebrate my baby sister, Haley Ellen’s, 21st birthday. 21 years ago she was born asleep and left us before we got the chance to meet her. i was three years old at the time, and none of it really made any sense to me. mommy was supposed to have a baby, but then we never got to take a baby home. when i was old enough to understand, my parents explained; and i looked through all the pictures we had. i would think of her from time to time growing up, but as i’ve grown older there is an indescribable bond i feel with my baby sister. i’ve grown a more emotional attachment to her and i feel her around quite often. when i graduated college, when i was having a bad day, when spencer graduated college, when i got engaged, when carter went to prom. i know she was there.

it’s a funny thing, how you can miss someone so much that you never got to meet. and how today thinking of the fun we’d have toasting to her 21st birthday fills my eyes with tears. there are a lot of things about life we’ll never truly understand. how a baby so beautiful can be taken from a family ready to love her forever. i have faith that God needed that lovely little angel back with him. and if we had gotten to keep her, i might not have my (not so) little brother. things have a way of working themselves out exactly they way they are supposed to, which is more often than not the way we planned. i love and miss her so very much but know that she’s watching over me and my family; hanging out with her cousin Dana Patrice, Nana, Grandpa Marlo and Grandpa Paul and our neighbor Lorriane; and smiling over us every day. we love you sweet Haley Ellen, we will carry your memory on forever and we wish you the happiest of birthdays – mom and i will have a glass of wine and cheers to you, our little angel in the sky. you’ll always be our hope, you’ll always be our first light, you’re always gonna be our little girl. we only wish for one more day <3

if you’ve ever watched Pollyanna i would imagine you recognize that line from Reverend Paul Ford’s sermon. and if you haven’t watched it, i highly recommend. it is a lovely story of a young girl who teaches a whole town about seeing the brighter side of everything.my momma was watching that movie the night she felt that something was not right; and i watch it every year and remember her.

Haley Ellen Dahl
Haley Ellen Dahl

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